One night, the women in the Potato Head family were preparing dinner. Mother Potato Head and her three daughters. Midway through the preparation of the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother?" she said. "I have an announcement to make."

"And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes. "Well," replied the daughter, "I'm getting married!"

The other Potato daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, eldest daughter?"

"I'm marrying a Russet!"

"A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!" said Mother Potato.

As they resumed the meal preparation, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement."

"And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato. The middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, "I, too, am getting married!"

"You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy. "That's wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, middle daughter?"

"I'm marrying an Idaho!" beamed the middle daughter.

"An Idaho!" said Mother Potato with joy. "Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"

Once again the room came alive with laughter and excited plans for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? Umm... I, too, have an announcement to make."

"Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation.

"Well," began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her sisters before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!"

"That's wonderful. Who are you marrying?" asked Mother Potato Head.

"I'm marrying Bruce MacAvaney!" the youngest Potato daughter replied.

"BRUCE MacAVANEY?!" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."

The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?" "No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."

When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly, "Fred died yesterday."

Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription: ...

"Gone, But Not for Cotton."

Working Blues

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned
...couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so
...they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because
...it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that
...was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but
...I just couldn’t cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just
...didn’t have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I
...couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found
...I wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I
..didn’t have any patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I
...just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I
...couldn’t live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I
...tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was
...just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I
...wasn’t up to it.

So then I got a job in a fitness-center, but they said I
...wasn’t fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and I
...was discharged.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was
...no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it
...was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I’M A PERFECT FIT FOR THIS JOB

Another unusual sight of the Moon. Tonights sky is pink and the full moon glows. This picture was taken at 5-47pm western time

Friday at last. The end of another working week. We have started to have some wonderfully warmer days this week. Spring must be nearly here.  I finished work at 2-30 this afternoon, came home, made a cuppa and just sat in the sun. Pure bliss. I sat watching the birds flitter about in the back garden. It was a particularly quiet afternoon, no neighbourhood noise at all. This is what made it so pleasant. The only sounds were the birds. After my cuppa I just closed my eyes, not sleeping, just listening. I identified around 5 different bird calls, a couple of crows flew by and I could hear their wings flapping. It is amazing what you hear when relying only on your senses.  I could smell the jasmin in the air. Another sign that spring is almost here.  It was just so peaceful sitting, doing nothing other than enjoying  the peace and quiet of my own backyard with the birds in the background.  Tonight, before dusk, while the sky was still clear I could see the moon, an unusual sight as you don't usually see it till it is dark.

There was a burglar who broke into an electronics warehouse and was filling his bags with various telephones when he heard police sirens getting nearer. He fled to a nearby music hall where a concert was going on and hid among the horn sections.

The police wandered through but were unable to find him among the musicians..

He fit right in, having those Sacks O' Phones..

A man goes into a restaurant and the maitre'd stops him.

"Sorry sir, you need to wear a tie to enter."

So the man goes back to his car and looks around, but there's no necktie to be found. So he takes his jumper leads, wraps them around his neck, ties a nice knot, and lets the ends dangle about.

He goes back to the nightclub, where the bouncer says, "Well, OK, you can come in. Just don't start anything."

Old GARDENERS  never die, they just spade away

Old REALTORS  never die, they just become listless

Old TEACHERS  never die, they just lose their class

Old OPTICIANS never die, they just lose their contacts

Old DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience

Old ARCHITECTS never die, they just change their plans

Old COOKS never die, they just go to pot

Old BANKERS never die, they just lose their interest

Old DENTISTS never die, they just get long in the tooth

Old FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way

Old GOLFERS never die, they just putter away

Last weekend's trip to Augusta in the South West of WA was really nice. We set off after work on Friday and because of consistent heavy rain and peak hour traffic through Rockingham and Mandurah had a slow trip to Australind where we stopped for the night. Arrived at 5-45 and booked into the Tourist Park opposite the Estuary. Had our choice of sites as the park is very quiet at this time of year.

We set off around 7-30 next morning through Bunbury and Bellselton and stopped at Yallingup for breakfast. We sat watching the surfers and the breakers while we ate.

We left Yallingup and continued along the scenic Caves Road. Passed lots of wineries (didn't stop for a tasting though) and farm land. Took a short detour through to Margaret River, which has become so commercialised now. Had to stop off at the Fudge Factory to satisfy my sweet tooth. After a short walk around we headed back onto Caves Road, through the karri forest to Mammoth Cave where we took a self guided tour. It was wonderful. After viewing the cave we took the scenic track back to the car park. It was certainly well worth it. So beautiful. There are many caves underneath the roadway. The main ones in the area are Mammoth, Lake, Giant and Jewel Cave. We only went down the one. Time was against us.

Worked up an appetite for lunch and stopped in the forest. We then continued on and another quick detour to Hamlin Bay before arriving in Augusta. Took a run out to the lighthouse and Flinders Bay in search of whales but unfortunately didn't spot any.  I hope you are all taking note of the clear blue sky in all the above pictures because by next morning things change dramatically.) We booked into the caravan park at the river mouth. It was very quiet and quite beautiful. In the summertime it is packed to the hilt apparently.

By next morning the weather had changed. We were lucky and brave enough to take a long walk along the foreshore and around to the Southern Ocean. We managed to get back and have breakfast before the heavens opened. Thats the way it stayed for most of the day. We took our time getting home, the strong winds and rain made it difficult driving the van. Had to stop at Cowaramup on the way to check out whose fudge was better,  Margaret River or Candy Cow. In my opinion The Candy Cow wins.